I have finally worked out the one word to describe Newcastle United at the moment

The Mag

·21 September 2024

I have finally worked out the one word to describe Newcastle United at the moment

Don’t worry, I have found it.

I had struggled to think of it after this Newcastle United start to the season.

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That one word to describe it.

Now I have worked it out, it hit me when that final whistle went at Fulham.

United losing the game at Craven Cottage 3-1 but this word is about what we have seen overall so far, though particularly today, especially in the first half.

That word is ‘lethargic’ / ‘lethargy’.

Looking up the exact meaning(s) of the word, I found the following.

‘Lethargy – A lack of energy and enthusiasm.’

‘Lethargy refers to a state of fatigue and low energy. A person experiencing lethargy may not have the energy or motivation to do the tasks they need to each day. There are a number of possible causes of lethargy, ranging from occasional overexertion to underlying health conditions.’

Now the good news is that, at least in my opinion, the condition isn’t terminal.

However, Doctor Edward John Frank Howe needs to urgently find the cure.

What I would say, is that ‘lethargy’ and lacking energy and enthusiasm, isn’t the same thing as saying not trying.

It can be in certain cases but I don’t think it is here.

Any of you who have played much football at any level, will know that there are some matches where you turn up and it just doesn’t happen. Nothing to do with not trying, just not happening for you.

Indeed, the harder you try, it is often the case that the worse it gets, when you are in that kind of mood. When lethargy strikes.

I think you see that in our Brazilian pair especially. Though it exhibits very differently in the pair of them.

Joelinton is like somebody with one of those temperature gauges you see in cartoons, where it is at it s very maximum and threatening to blow, he gets more and more physical and running around like something not right, as he tries to force his best form to return.

For Bruno Guimaraes, I think he contains it more internally. Yes, we know how emotional he gets at times, but when things aren’t happening for him on the pitch, I believe he just gets more and more intense and pushes himself harder and harder. We know pace is very much not his stand out quality, instead it is that pushing and pushing as he tries to inspire the team around him, both with his ability and his determination. The more things don’t work out for him, the tougher Bruno is on himself.

I think the ‘lethargy’ affecting Bruno Guimaraes is massively due to the ridiculous amount of football he has played for clubs and country these past couple of years, especially the last 13 months or so. I know he would find it so difficult to do but I reckon sending him off for a couple of weeks with his family for some real downtime, would be the ideal thing, for the longer-term in particular. Failing that, at least put him on the bench next Saturday and then unleash him on Man City for the final 25 minutes or so, with hopefully United at least still on terms by then.

Anthony Gordon is probably the other one who has simply had too much football these past 15 or 16 months.

As for the rest of them who have been struck down by lethargy, maybe a lot of different reasons for various players.

Though I think as well that in its purist form, this lethargy in football can be a very contagious thing, it quickly spreads.

Again, I think it is a very different thing to not trying. More a case of one or two players where it just isn’t happening and especially their football brains simply not working anything like at their optimum, so misplaced passes, getting caught in possession, choosing the wrong pass, passing when you should shoot and vice-versa.

Quite clearly, Doctor Edward John Frank Howe is frantically looking for the cure, summed up by yet another four changes made today, yet that simply flatlined the patient in the first half, rather than it proving to be the panacea.

Sometimes only time proves to be the big healer in these type of cases.

Something just sparks it and the patient is back on their feet and never looks back.

We have seen it so many times, a team that has looked woeful, suddenly goes on a run of performances and/or results out of nothing.

Doctor Edward John Frank Howe has form in this area. For example, just how did he take that Ashley/Bruce mess he inherited in November 2021 and within a matter of six weeks or so after his first match in charge, transform a group of players who were getting relegated for sure, into a team (with the help of Targett, Burn, Wood and Trippier – Bruno Guimaraes only really got properly involved once Howe had worked his magic) that had the third best form in the Premier League, the entire 19 games in the second half of that 2021/22 PL season?

I have absolute faith in Doctor Edward John Frank Howe finding the cure, I just hope he makes the successful diagnosis sooner rather than later.

Fulham 3 Newcastle 1 – Saturday 21 September 3pm

(Stats via BBC Sport)

Goals:

Newcastle United:

Barnes 46

Fulham:

Jimenez 5, Smith-Rowe 22, Nelson 90+2

(Half-time stats in brackets)

Possession was Newcastle 61% (60%) Fulham 39% (40%)

Total shots were Newcastle 15 (4) Fulham 22 (13)

Shots on target were Newcastle 4 (1) Fulham 11 (7)